Things that bug my ass. (Not an exhaustive list).

1. When people spray themselves with scented body mist, say coconut lime for example, and then pet me, getting the smell all over my fur. Don't they know it takes a long time to remove that offensive scent? And let me tell you, it would perhaps be a lot more pleasant if the flavour matched the scent, since the flavour is often akin to Mr Clean and not coconut lime. In theory anyway this would be preferable; I am not the biggest fan of lime, having to turn down nacho chips yesterday which were violated with a hint of lime...Ok. Let's face it, I prefer my scents unscented and my nachos straight up, and anything else is a compromise at best.

2. I hate it when people say "bird-bird", my special code for running to the living room window and checking the balcony for pigeons, when really they mean "hey, furpot, look at the camera, I really don't want to take another picture of the back of your head, and even though I have about a kajillion pictures of you, I feel the need for a few more." Both the blatant manipulation and the constant paparazzi harassment are a thorn in my side.

3. Getting old and literally getting a creaky ass. Yes, it's true. My birthday is around this time of year -- born in the late summer of 1994 -- and this old girl is getting less than supple in the haunches.

Ok. That's it for now. Exhaustive lists bore me!