Thursday, June 08, 2006

Dearest Koko,

I believe you may have inadvertently misrepresented my sudden disappearance. I guess when you have a brain the size of a walnut, such a misunderstanding can easily occur, however, I feel I must dispel the impression that your fans may have that I would knowingly and intentionally leave you for any reason, meritoriously or frivolously. Ce n'est pas possible!

The truth of the matter is that I have been kidnapped by Ms. Blonde One. I know you may find this hard to believe as she presents such a wholesome, perky demeanour, but the sad fact is that since moving to Toronto, she has developed a highly unsavoury and sadistic nature. I am now at her mercy, and I tell you, the torture she has exposed me to today will no doubt leave me scarred for life: smog, an inept taxi driver, a clogged highway, a delayed flight, turbulenece, seriously confined spaces, fidgety neighbours, pre-packaged food (using that word, food, in its broadest form), incessent rain, a crack house tour, a leaky pub, a misplaced umbrella, cold feet -- could you honestly believe that I would choose these horrors over spending time with you.

At the time of writing, it's been 14 hours, 10 minutes, 31 seconds, and 3 blinks of an eye since I saw you, and I do not know how much more of this I can endure. I can only hope Mr. Peeps is treating you better than Ms. Blonde One is treating me. I will do my best to escape her wily clutches and return to you post haste and direct!

Your true beloved,
Mrs. Peeps


Kelly said...

Good Lord, it appears as though Ms. Blonde One is corrupting and mistreating Mrs. Peeps, Koko!

This also proves my theory that BC is not the wholesome province is fancies itself to be. Crack houses, indeed!

Anonymous said...

You do realize that the cold feet are probably caused by the draft from the beer cooler

Rugrat and Wren

The Blonde One said...

it's all part of the plan.....