Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Snubbed

I am not impressed. I received the following missive from Mrs. Peeps:

Dear Koko [note how it is no longer "dearest"?],
I only have a few minutes available to update you on my status, as I have arrived in Courtney on Vancouver Island, and have to contend with not only the tortures of Ms. Blonde One, but also her progenitors, Mrs. Loud One and Mr. Tall One. Double-plus fun, as they say.

My journey yesterday began after my official business was complete, and started with, yes, you guessed it, more beer, this time at Steamworks Brewing Company in Vancouver. A harrowing cab journey through Stanley Park to Horseshoe Bay, followed by a long ferry boat ride up the coast, finally deposited your weary travellers in Nanaimo (not as yummy as it might sound), where Mrs. Loud One captured us and escorted us up a windy coastal path, where I must tell you, I was forced to utter the word "pretty" on more than one occasion.

Diversions abounded -- and bounded. A detour to a stop sign at the end of a remote road in the middle of the woods (why? perhaps it was an existential stop sign, not literal --- since there were no other streets (or anything else for that matter) requiring such a stop); The Goat People which is as ominous and Deliverance as it sounds; my new buddy, baby goat; hotdogs and Old Dutch potato chips; and a hot tub under a starry sky. I have been pestered, threatened, rejected or teased by the following (not including my captors, of course -- that's a given!): Jarty The Dog; Stupid Bird; deer; children; goats; humming birds; cows; crickets; sheep; horses; honestly, I don't know how much more I can take. Although, it is possible I may have ordered a list of winged, furred and scaled things I wanted to see. My strategy here was that my captors will do the opposite, so I will not be forced to contend with a bear, coyote, eagle or salmon - I'm a city girl, dontcha know.

Ciao, my wee red-eyed beastie. You are still the most beautiful and fierce of all the animals. I will write to you again soon, provided I don't get eaten or wrinkled.

Mrs. Peeps

I think it is possible that a) Mrs. Peeps has lost her mind, or b) I have lost my allure. Feh.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

option a) is most likely.....

Peeps are well known for losing their mind in the presense of beer and mountains.

Rugrat and Wren

Little Knitter said...

Koko,
You genius! I understand the complexity of your plan!

You love Mrs. Peeps so much that you have enlisted the sly help of your feathered and furred friends to rescue her. They have maintined their undercover "annoying" persona so as not to alert the Blonde One to their rescue plans. Ultimately though, these animal friends will whisk Mrs. Peeps away, and return her safely to you.

Good plan Koko, very resourceful!