Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Denial is a river, right?


I am very pleased to report that I do not need to make a new year's resolution to lose weight this year: I continue to hold steady at just under 9 lbs!

I am less pleased to report the Peeps betrayed me and took me to the vet to see my "friend" Dr. Lerman. It seems that they were worried about me, as I have apparently been exhibiting some "atypical behaviours", including such things as seizures, not breathing, and hissy fits. I will spare you all the gory details as it really doesn't make for good clean copy, and, quite frankly, some of it is not flattering (I NEVER tried to murder Vanessa; I don't know how they could characterize it that way...it was really just a misunderstanding).

Even worse than today's betrayal, however, is the fact that I must go back for more tests, some of which I understand may not be pleasant, involving either blood or bananas (I wasn't clear on this point; see explanation below). It's the usual two-pronged approach to diagnosis. First, rule out the biochemical possibilities (hyper-thyroid, hypoglycemia). Second, consider more frightening possibilities (brain damage resulting from nasty bonk on head or possible brain tumour). Given the wide variation of possible diagnosis, and presumably, course of action and remedy, I am in favour of more testing over less testing, notwithstanding the possible banana factor.

Dr. Lerman told me that these things -- having your body kick you in the arse when you're having a nice nap in a warm sunbeam-- can happen when you get old (I am almost 13 after all), but I'll be honest, I may have looked like I was paying attention, but really I was singing "la la la" in my head as I am wont to do at the vet's and couldn't really hear him. I mean, I heard him, but I didn't really hear him, if you get my drift. Denial and delusion -- they're both rivers in Canada, right?

One good thing resulted from today's sojourn to the vet's: my Peeps have been doting on me more than ever before, which is actually a fair amount of dote, let me tell you. It's good to be Queen Koko!

11 comments:

Kelly said...

Miss Koko, nothing but good, healing thoughts for you!

Ok, I read all the words this time but can't figure out the banana thing.

Yvette said...

Malcolm, Francois and Alice are all rooting for your speedy recovery. May your rule be long and splendiferous. Thirteen is a mere young'un.

Leah said...

I will use my voodoo-telepathy-magic to make you well again Koko!

The Blonde One said...

Oh Koko, I hope it all is ok. I send you much love!

Little Knitter said...

Your Majesty,
My humblest wishes for no uncomfortable tests (despite the banana), a favorable outcome and a speedy recovery.

Also, kudos on the overflowing of affection from the Peeps. They're kind to dote - lets make sure they keep it up!

koko puff said...

Thank you for all your kind wishes. Keep the love coming!

Re: The mystery of the bananas. This was, in theory, a clever literary device a la Lemony Snicket in The Series of Unfortunate Events who would juxtapose truly terrible things such as insidious diseases against equally awful things such as, for example, porridge. The choice of bananas as the relatively benign object of the sentence was deliberate as while seemingly on the surface it could be taken as a straight up Snicketesque metaphor, however, it was also an inside joke for those who know me well...I have a truly well developed palate, however, bananas are not one of my favourite foods, in fact, quite the opposite: they are like Koko Kryptonite (a Superman reference - kryptonite had negative effect on Superman's powers). Thus, in the true world of Koko, bananas and blood tests are equally to be avoided if at all possible, but for those without the inside track on bananas it would have been purely Snicketty. Or not at all apparently, just confusing. Never mind. At least it added some colour to the post!

Not An Artist said...

Guinness & Inca send both sympathy at evil vet visits and healing best wishes. Also, understanding about the relative qualities of bananas vs. needles in the ass...

Floppy Puppy said...

Get better soon Koko!

Grandma Mr. Peeps said...

Oh my poor Koko I didn't know you were feeling under the weather apparently your Peeps are not telling the old ones anything. Hope the tests are not has bad as you fear and that the Peeps stay upright during them.

Mamush said...

Dear Koko,
I'm sure you will feel better soon, and get back to your normal routine. My humans and I are thinking about you and sending you a lot of good energy these days, hopefully you feel them.
-Mamush

PS. My kryptonite is Vicks vapor rubs.

Celtic Knitter said...

Oh, I hope everything is okay. I hate hearing news like that . . . but I'm sending positive vibes.

Sorry, disappeared from the face of the Earth for a while . . . just beamed back for a bit. :)