The lam proved not to be as interesting and comfortable as I had hoped, so I have deigned to return to my Peeps. But I return with conditions. Therefore, Peepses, I must call your attention to the following:
1. You must hug me and kiss me and call me George. At least once every five minutes.
2. You must make my bed every day. I don't like sleeping on wrinkles.
3. You must prevent the jackhammering downstairs from starting before 8 am. I need my beauty sleep.
4. The Blonde One can only come over (down) if she brings treats. Feed and water me well, regardless of the treat situation.
5. You must let me watch Big Brother and Rock Star Supernova and Coronation Street. I must know if Janelle is going to ever cotton onto Will's duplicitous nature, when Zayra the song-murderess will finally get sent packing, and why Jason is cheating on Violet with Sarah. These are important things. I must stay up-to-date or suffer great stress and the derision of my peers.
6. You must share the computer. Your time is actually my time. My time is my time.
7. You must honour my every hair and whim at every moment of every day. You must rigorously insist on the same level of respect from every guest to the premises, including BOB, the Blonde One's Boyfriend.
8. Other duties as assigned.
Do the above, and we should get along just fine. I may choose not to make another dash for it.